


Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

by bishounen_curious



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Friends to Lovers, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sexual Content, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 07:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7793188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishounen_curious/pseuds/bishounen_curious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They thought they could deal with the fact they were going to separate universities. </p><p>Maybe they underestimated themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> original a prompt from tumblr that spawned this trilogy. i'm weak for long distance and seemingly unrequited crushes

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa’s voice crackled through his laptop’s microphone with as much static feedback as Iwaizumi’s laughter, “ _are you drunk?_ ”

“No! It’s Wednesday, I have class tomorrow.” The camera lagged, and to Oikawa, Iwaizumi’s rapidly shaking head looked more like a slow moving flip book. “I’m sorry, these are just _hysterical_. I can’t help it.”

Oikawa tried not to be so clearly affected by his best friend’s giggles, so with another mouthful of popcorn and a securement of the blanket around his shoulders, he indifferently watched Iwaizumi lose his shit on his laptop screen. “They’re really not that funny, actually.”

“Tooru!” Iwaizumi shouted, looking positively scandalized. 

At his given name, the brunette flushed and adjusted his glasses, praying that the grainy quality of his laptop’s camera would mask the color rising heatedly on his face. “They’re _amazing_.”

“They’re called anti-jokes.” Oikawa sniffed, “Enough said.”

“Okay, but listen to this one.” And with that, Iwaizumi broke out into another peal of deep laughter, the sound slightly distorted when it came through the speakers. Iwaizumi’s laugh didn’t have feedback in real life: it was full, infectious, you could feel it in the air, like static electricity. It’d only been a few months ago when he got to hear that laugh every day, right beside him, at school, on bus rides from matches, at their houses. Ever since university started and they went their separate ways, Oikawa hadn’t heard that laugh next to him enough to count on even one of his hands. He missed that. He missed his best friend. But damned if he’d be the first one to vocalize that out loud. 

Neither of them wanted to strain what already was stretched way too thin.

“I’m waiting, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa tossed more popcorn into his mouth while Iwaizumi tried to compose himself enough to speak. “Some of us have homework they still need to do.”

“No, you don’t.” Iwaizumi cleared his throat, still smiling, his skin glowing even through the shitty camera lens in his four-year-old laptop. “You do it as soon as you get home from practice. I know you too well for you to get away with that shit.”

Oikawa tried to hide his smile with a pout. “Well, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m _waiting_.”

“Alright, alright, relax.” With a deep breath, Iwaizumi asked, voice quavering just a tiny bit from withheld mirth, “What’s red and smells like blue paint?”

Oikawa sighed. “I don’t know. What?”

“ _Red paint_.”

And Iwaizumi was inconsolable with laughter again. Right back where they started.

In all reality, they weren’t funny, these jokes. They were stupid and random, and it wasn’t even that late to be getting so silly over them. 10:12PM - still a reasonable hour for a college student. It was kind of strange that Iwaizumi was so into these terrible excuses for humor. But then again, Iwa-chan was a weirdo himself. Always trying to act tough and cool, but really, he was just as much a dork as everyone else.

There was a reason they were best friends, after all.

“What?” Iwaizumi asked after a minute, wiping his eyes as his laughter died down, not taking kindly to the setter’s forced stoic expression. “Not good enough for your high-brow sense of humor?”

“Try another one. Make it funny this time.”

“Ha. Ha.” Another moment of composure, and then, “What do a banana and a helicopter have in common?”

Oikawa scrunched his nose. “I don’t know? They’re both… things?”

Iwaizumi was biting his lip so hard Oikawa was sure he was gonna draw blood. “ _No_.”

“Just tell me.”

“They’re both not _police officers_.” And the giggles were back ten fold. And then Iwaizumi snorted.

“These are awful! They don’t make any sense!” But all his complaints fell on deaf ears because Iwaizumi was covering his face with his hands and smiling so wide and was having the time of his life all by himself in his dorm room. Oikawa couldn’t hold back his own grin, couldn’t keep up his bored front anymore. The first few snickers went by unnoticed but eventually, like always, Iwaizumi noticed. He always did.

“Hey! They’re great, I told you! You’re laughing now!”

“I’m laughing at you, idiot.” Oikawa stuck out his tongue.

“You’re so petty.” Iwaizumi teased, making a more concentrated effort to calm down. “I guess even university can’t help you fix your shitty personality.”

“Always so mean, Iwa-chan. Even on Skype.”

“You deserve it.”

Oikawa blew a raspberry. And since both of them were five years old, it made them spiral down into another fit of hysterics.

It was a while before both of them settled down, faces all flushed, goofy grins, crinkled eyes, labored breathing. Oikawa was just playing with his popcorn now, not eating it, his fingertips shiny with butter, looking at Iwaizumi in the eyes on his computer screen. It didn’t feel like this was a digital conversation. It felt real, just in that moment. He could trick his brain into thinking that Iwaizumi was right there in front of him, that he could feel his body heat, smell his strong, clean deodorant, count the freckles on his forearms. He could make that distance seem not so far, if just for now.

“Tooru.”

And there it was again.

“What, _Hajime_?”

Iwaizumi’s grin twitched, and Oikawa knew before he said it that he didn’t want to hear it. “I wish winter break was sooner.”

He didn’t have to say _why_. Oikawa knew. And it made his heart jump and his stomach churn in the worst way.

Oikawa’s dorm room suddenly felt too large.

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bishounen-curious.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally posted to tumblr. now a full-length motion story on this hell hole website

He was glad that his roommates had already been long gone at a party when Iwaizumi called him.

There Oikawa was, curled up in bed like a blanket hermit, watching old X-Files reruns on a Friday night, alone. He was fine with that. He had practice early on Saturdays anyway, so that was enough to keep him from going out. And, just the thought of surrounding himself with drunk strangers wasn’t fun. It didn’t take much to keep him home. Besides, the few times he did force himself to be social, it ended less than stellar because he just kept remembering his old teammates, their old parties they used to have together, and all that did was make Oikawa sick to his stomach in a way that had nothing to do with the bare minimum of alcohol he’d already ingested.

So, when Iwaizumi called him, not on Skype, on the _phone_ , Oikawa was glad his roommates weren’t there. Because he wasn’t sure what was going on, and he was very, very unsettled about it.

After a few rings, Oikawa was brave enough to answer. “Iwa-cha-?”

“Guess what?” 

Iwaizumi’s voice clambered over his, drowning out his own words, beating him to the punch. Oikawa had figured as much. The slurring was enough for him to be sure.

“What?” Oikawa sighed, staring at his white-washed wall with an anxious expression he was thankful Iwaizumi couldn’t see.

There was a beat. “I’m _drunk_.”

Oikawa just sighed. “Of course you are.”

“’m not at a party, though.” There was an out-of-place quietness to Iwaizumi’s voice that made the butterflies in the setter’s stomach suddenly feel like worms. 

“Did you just get home?”

“Didn’t go out.”

Oikawa shut his laptop. Even though the episode was paused, he didn’t like the way Scully was staring at him like that, that sour, displeasing expression. He knew it wasn’t aimed at him, but if he were in her shoes, he wouldn’t be able to look at himself without disgust. “You won’t make any friends if you drink by yourself, Iwa-chan.”

There was a quivering breath on the line. “I don’t want any friends.”

He could feel the fracturing starting to happen. It’s not like it wasn’t expected, but it was still absolutely _frightening_. “Yes, you do. It’s university, you want to make new frien-”

“ _Tooru_.”

That sick feeling was back in his gut. “You should have some water.”

Iwaizumi groaned into his phone. “I wanna talk about _this_.”

“About you getting shit-faced? By yourself?” Oikawa knew that’s not even remotely close to what the other was hinting at. But _he_ didn’t want to talk about _it_. He’d rather start a fight than sincerely talk about _it_. Anything but _it_. “Because we _should_. That’s not healthy.”

“Tooru, please.” Iwaizumi rasped, and everything broke apart. “ _Please_.”

Oikawa was thankful Scully couldn’t see him cry. 

“Please, _what_?” He challenged, doing his best to keep his voice steady, not thickening up with emotion. He let his eyes water, but that’s all he’d allow himself. 

Apparently, Iwaizumi was in the same boat. He suddenly sounded sober. “I don’t know.”

Oikawa wanted to laugh. Both of them were so pathetic. “Don’t fucking call me about nothing, then.”

It sounded like Iwaizumi gasped, and then the gravity, the quaver was back in his words. “Asshole, I _miss_ you.”

And there it was.

And Oikawa couldn’t find anything to say.

“I miss you all the time.” Iwaizumi continued, his breath hitching, stumbling over himself, yet so determined to stay on track. “I hate parties ‘cause I just want you to be here. And class. And practice. And - and _now_.” That’s when his voice cracked. “ _Tooru_.”

They shouldn’t have gone to different universities. Then this wouldn’t have happened, all this longing and confusion and all those moments when something good happened and Oikawa would turn to his right, smiling brightly and expecting Iwaizumi to be smiling right back at him to only find him _not there_. If they had just been able to let themselves continue, let the things they both had been wanting for years happen, those lingering glances at each other, the finger brushing, the shoulder and back rubs to continue and grow, then this moment would’ve never happened.

And Oikawa would have never let out a hiccupy sob and completely broken down on the phone, in the middle of Tokyo in a building he still couldn’t call home.

That triggered something in both of them. Seconds had barely passed and then Iwaizumi’s voice got soft, trying to ask if he was _okay_ , reassure him things were _fine_ , tell him he was _there_ , slurring through uncharacteristically gentle words that Iwaizumi rarely let out of his own mouth. It just made Tooru cry harder, hate himself harder.

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa cried, everything feeling so heavy inside of him. “I’m sorry.”

“Tooru.” Iwaizumi murmured, so softly Oikawa almost couldn’t hear it. “It’s okay.”

“It’s _not_.”

“No, but,” Iwaizumi said, a strange lilt to his words that made the setter pause, “it’s not the end of the world. We’re better than this.”

Oikawa laughed.

“Really. We are.” And he could feel the small smile in those words on the other line. “We’re best friends.”

That was enough to make his lips quirk, too. “Yeah, we are.”

It was few moments before Iwaizumi broke their silence. “I’m coming to visit next weekend.”

That threw the setter for a loop. What? “I have practice in the morning. And you have that practice tournament, remember?” They would’ve done that ages ago if both of them had time. 

“Whatever. I’ll tell coach I have a family emergency or something.”

“Iwa-chan, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.”

“Don’t care.” Iwaizumi chuckled, and Oikawa for some reason remembered a moment in middle school when Iwaizumi cackled after telling a really stupid, inappropriate joke during lunch. It was the same laugh. “’ts’worth it to see you.”

Oikawa’s stomach felt a little heavier, but not in a bad way. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Iwaizumi repeated, and it sounded like relief. “You can show me around Tokyo.”

“And I’ll make you watch alien movies with me, compliment me constantly and then we’ll snuggle in my twin bed every night because none of my roommates have a spare futon and I just like making you miserable.”

“Sounds great.” And it sounded sincere, too. “’m excited.”

“Me too.” He rubbed his knuckles against his eyes, trying to get the remaining tears gone. “Y’know, you should drink water and eat something.”

“I will.” Iwaizumi’s voice sounded less like a slur. “Don’t worry.”

“I won’t.”

Both of them smiled. At least Oikawa had a feeling Iwaizumi was smiling, too. 

“Thanks.” Iwaizumi said after a moment. 

“Mm.”

“’Night.” Iwaizumi said. But, unlike usual, he didn’t immediately hang up. Iwaizumi _always_ hung up first. He was waiting for something, and Oikawa’s stomach was a mess all over again, his heart beating in this hopeful way, a way that made him believe that both of them could get through this okay.

“Night, Hajime.” Oikawa murmured, and ended the call then and there.

Afterwards, Oikawa just stared at his phone, a private smile on his face. Iwaizumi was coming next weekend. They’d be together all weekend. Just like it used to be. 

Now there wasn’t any excuse not to kiss him.

Giddiness. Oikawa felt absolutely _giddy_ as he opened his laptop back up, and there was Scully, still watching him with those displeased eyes.

“Don’t give me that look, Dana.” He laughed before pressing play. “You know this is long overdue. And it’s not like you can talk, either.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _phewwwww_
> 
> it done

When the train rolled into Shinjuku station, Oikawa’s frigid fingers clenched the empty styrofoam cup of coffee so hard it cracked in half. The white bullet train was exactly on schedule, rolling to a complete stop. It was right before his tiny body, like a large, sleek animal in wait, observing its prey before lunging in for an attack. Oikawa’s heart was thudding like crazy beneath his layered sweater, jacket and scarf, fear and apprehension seizing his thoughts and telling him to run. Run _now_. Do it while you still can.

_Chill the hell out, buddy._ Oikawa berated himself. _It’s just Iwa-chan._

And that’s exactly what he was afraid of.

People started filing out from the early morning train in sleepy, efficient lines. Businessmen and wide-eyed teenagers, mothers and their bundled-up babies, a stray elderly couple or two. College students and even a dog. Everyone was going about their morning, leaving the platform and heading out for whatever it was they needed to do: sightseeing, work, errands. All this purpose and routine was making Oikawa feel a little dizzy. At the moment, he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to be doing. It was disconcerting to say the least, to feel so frazzled at such a physical and metaphorical point of travel.

But then a familiar face appeared just down the platform, amongst a bleary-eyed group of young girls in waitressing uniforms. Iwaizumi smiled with entire face. His skin looked bright, fresh almost. None of that drowsiness anywhere on him. In fact, he had a little pep in his step as he approached Oikawa, adjusting his duffel bag over his shoulder as he planted himself right before his best friend. “Hi, asshole.”

What exactly had Oikawa been so afraid of?

It was _just_ Iwa-chan.

He let himself smile as the anxiety washed out of his system like rainwater through a street drain. And of course, pounced on Iwaizumi and trapped him in a big hug. It was reciprocated immediately, and the two of them just stood there, unmoving in the embrace. The hug was going on for far too long, but neither wanted to give it up. It had been _months_. They hadn’t seen each other since the summer - now it was just the beginning of December. Months of not touching, of simply listening to each others voices through a cell phone or a computer, of not smelling each other’s shampoo or cologne or the laundry detergent scent still clinging to their clothes. It seemed like an eternity and a half. But some things hadn’t changed - Iwaizumi’s shoulders felt just as broad, his grip just as comforting. His skin smelled different though - like a new aftershave or something. Maybe a soap…?

Oikawa’s face felt hot as he forced himself to pull away from the embrace. This was escalating far too fast. He needed a second to breathe before his mind went places far too dark for 9 AM.

Iwaizumi gave him a look, a knowing one, the same one he’d always give him during practice when he knew something was up. But the difference between now and then was that Iwaizumi didn’t question him about it. He kept his mouth shut, and Oikawa’s stomach dropped. He didn’t know if this was good or bad yet - just that it was _new_.

He had to get his shit together, though. Oikawa wasn’t some starstruck, nervous guy. This was his _best friend_. And that was it. “Are you sure it’s fine you’re missing that tournament this weekend?”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “Don’t start with that. No volleyball, alright?”

Oikawa scrunched up his nose and crossed his arms defiantly. “Just because you’re skipping out on practice this weekend doesn’t mean I can.”

That took Iwaizumi by surprise. “You have practice this weekend?”

The worry on his face was cute. But it still made Oikawa feel like shit. They’d been together for barely five minutes and he was already stressing the other out. “Only this afternoon… But tomorrow and Sunday I got out of. Because… y’know…”

“Family emergency?” Iwaizumi grinned.

“Something like that.”

—

The day had been so much better than Oikawa thought it would be. A million times better, in fact.

After dropping Iwaizumi’s stuff off in his dorm, they had explored around his campus, the neighborhood, some nearby tourist sights, too. Iwaizumi drunk it all in with a look of wonder, his smile never leaving his face. Before university, he never was this open, so transparently happy. It was making Oikawa’s stomach flip around inside his gut, baseless hope welling up into his entire body like a quick-working drug. 

Hope for _what_? Hope for a lot of things that Oikawa had been coming to terms with all week. Stuff he had been working out by himself (and of course, Dana and been there, on his laptop screen, pausing whenever he needed her to so he could talk out his thoughts to her. She’s a good listener like that). Stuff that had kept him from sleeping, what-if scenarios spiraling out of control in his mess of a brain, things that had his cheeks getting hot and his stomach squirm and his heart ache. 

Sightseeing was one thing, getting through lunch with Iwaizumi was another. Watching him enjoy their oden, sharing all his favorite sights from the day, talking about his train ride. Oikawa felt like he was seeing Iwaizumi as a new person, a foreign entity. He was so much more alive, positive, refreshed… it took all his willpower not to throw his arms around him and never let him go.

Afterwards, tt physically hurt when he had to leave Iwaizumi in his room when it was time for practice. Especially because Iwaizumi was just sprawled out on his bed: his socked feet planted on his bedspread, typing away on his own laptop propped up on his chest. ‘I’ll just do some homework while you’re there’, Iwaizumi had said. 

_You’re doing more than that_. Oikawa grumbled internally, taking a huge swig of his water bottle as he left his room with his gear bag. _You’re killing me._

—

After he returned a couple hours later, Iwaizumi was chatting with one of his roommates. His socks were off now, and he was crosslegged on a chair, snacking on some barbecue chips. 

The little tableau made Oikawa smile - Iwa-chan was making himself right at home. Both his roommate and Iwaizumi greeted him, and before sitting down, he went into his bedroom and dumped his bag down before joining the conversation. 

They talked about school - university in Tokyo versus in Miyagi. How Iwaizumi was liking his physical therapy program there, his new friendships, how things were going on the university volleyball team. Oikawa knew a lot of these facts already, but he drank them all in like fresh knowledge, never getting bored for an instant. Iwaizumi was before him in real flesh and blood. He couldn’t have been happier.

Sometime later, Oikawa’s stomach gave a loud gurgling sound. He hadn’t eaten for a few hours, and any spare calories he had had been worked off in practice. His roommate teased him, calling him _disgusting_ , and Iwaizumi joined in, making Oikawa pout and kindly telling them both to _fuck off_. 

“That’s not a very friendly thing to say, _Tooru_.” Iwaizumi snickered, punching the brunette in the arm. 

“Whatever, don’t care.” Oikawa stood up and grabbed his coat. “I’m going to get food. You can come or not. I don’t care.”

“I care.”

His heart was doing that thing again. But Oikawa let it. Things didn’t seem like they were going to be so uncertain this weekend.

At least that’s what he told himself.

—

They ate dinner at a local noodle bar. As they walked back home, they passed several bustling streets filled with happening bars, karaoke places, clubs. That’s when the doubt started to flood him.

It filled Oikawa’s chest, almost drowning him. It was heavy and discomforting, like an elephant in the room. He was sure Iwaizumi was feeling it, too. After all, they had to walk close together, maneuvering around the intoxicated groups of students, all laughing and shrieking and shivering in the early evening cold. It was just after seven, but it was a Friday. People went out on the weekend, and they started relatively early. Tokyo’s streets were full of these people, their judgment warped and cheeks flushed. Oikawa just stuffed his hands in his pockets and buried his face deeper into his scarf. Watching them was making him feel nauseous.

But, avoiding this wasn’t the answer. This was why Iwaizumi was here in the first place. Kind of. That phone conversation, the crying… Oikawa cleared his throat as they walked. “Did you want to… go out tonight?”

“Out?” Iwaizumi questioned, his voice strained, pretending like he had no idea what the other was insinuating. That _ass_. “As in… something like this?” He gestured to crowd with an unsettled smile.

“Yeah… or not.” Oikawa felt his face redden far more than from the cold. “I didn’t know if you wanted to drink or whatever. It’s your weekend. You can pick what we do.”

“But we already have plans.” Iwaizumi shrugged, quickening his pace out of the boisterous crowd.

Oikawa paused. “We do?”

“The bad alien movies? The snuggling in your bed? Remember?” Something glinted in the other’s eye - something _playful_. It had Oikawa almost stopping in his track, a warmth inside him threatening to take over. 

_Oh, Iwa-chan. I missed you so much._

“Oh, I _remembered_.” Oikawa teased. “Just making sure you did.”

“Wouldn’t dream of forgetting it, jerk face.”

—

It had all been in jest, but the part about sharing his uncomfortably small bed had actually come true.

Oikawa wasn’t sure what was more surprising - that Iwaizumi had been gung-ho about squishing both of their adult bodies into the comically small space or that he himself had been incredibly reluctant about doing it even though he was the one to suggest it. 

It was simultaneously everything he wanted and everything he was afraid of.

Iwaizumi’s entire side body was smushed up against the brunette’s. There was no way in hell they even joked about spooning. There was too much tension to even jest about that, regardless that it would make these close quarters a lot more comfortable. It didn’t matter if Iwaizumi brought it up -spooning might literally kill Oikawa.

Even though Oikawa’s dorm had some heating issues, his bedroom felt sweltering. He had taken off his sweater and had changed into his thin sweats and a tee. He was practically in his summer pjs, and he his skin was blistering hot, sweating through the cotton as if he was in a wool bodysuit. Iwaizumi was similarly as hot - Oikawa could feel the slight dampness of his forearms, the intensity of the warmth bleeding into his own skin. But Iwaizumi said nothing about it. His eyes were just focused on the laptop screen balanced on both of their upper thighs, on the shitty, low-budget alien invasion movie Oikawa pressured them into watching.

It was everything he could’ve asked for. The him of a week ago would have been jumping for joy at this situation. It was the perfect scenario to open up in. Share his feelings, his wants, the embarrassing realizations he’d made since they’d been separated in a sincere, safe space. Maybe Iwa-chan was having similar thoughts, wanted similar things…

…Or maybe he’d be disgusted by what he had to say. Maybe it would repulse Iwaizumi away, fracture their friendship even more. Would ruin it completely. It’d make Iwaizumi jump from the bed and request forcibly to sleep on the floor. Force him to move up his train out of necessity, to leave in the morning, to head straight back to Miyagi and never look back, leaving Oikawa alone in Tokyo, his circle of friends even smaller, the pit in his stomach growing until it swallowed him up whole.

Fear was a powerful motivator to open his mouth, but it was even stronger to keep it closed.

Everything felt wrong. He wished he could enjoy this but he just couldn’t. Oikawa felt like the world’s shittiest person. He had practically lured his best friend to Tokyo so he could have him close to serve his own selfish, sick desires. His insides twisted up, and he felt sick. Maybe he should just get up and end this now. It’d save him from the guilt, all the remorse that was welling up inside. Come clean, tell Iwaizumi that he didn’t deserve him. That he should just leave because he didn’t deserve to be used like this - make new friends at school, better friends. 

_Don’t waste your time with scum like me._

Oikawa wished they’d gone out instead. Maybe then he could’ve just exposed himself for the piece of garbage he truly was. All hazy-eyed and uninhibited. At the bar he wouldn’t have thought twice about wrapping his arm around Iwaizumi’s waist, pulling his sweaty body into his, and started to kiss his neck in a sloppy, sweet way. Tell Iwa-chan how much he wanted him. How he’d been wanting him their whole life but had been too stubborn to realize it. How he’d been thinking about them dating, getting closer than either of them had been before. Explain just how much he loved him it made his heart hurt. 

If he’d been drunk, he wouldn’t have thought twice about all that. And maybe Iwaizumi wouldn’t have either.

Only _if_.

Oikawa closed his eyes, and just listened to the bad acting, the fake screams from the protagonist and his floozy love interest. He listened to Iwaizumi’s steady breathing, the banging of the faulty radiator trying to warm up the room. His own pulse hammering inside his warm body. 

Only if.

“Where do you find this shit?”

He almost jumped out of his bones at Iwaizumi’s voice. His eyes snapped open, and he turned to face the other. There was an amused smile on Iwaizumi’s face, an entertained yet incredulous crinkle to his eyes. It was weird to see him so carefree, so happy while he was forced into entertaining Oikawa’s bad film whims. Deep down, he wished he could be as not as stressed about this as Iwa-chan.

Pulling himself together, Oikawa feigned a laugh. “What do you mean _shit_?”

“This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Are you sure?” Oikawa adjusted the laptop screen and snorted. “You’ve seen Makki try to dance. Are you one-hundred percent positive that this is _worse_?”

A surprised snort left Iwaizumi’s nose. “Alright, maybe not the _worst_ thing.”

“Told you~”

“Worst _movie_.”

“Ouch, such a harsh critic.”

Iwaizumi grinned, and nudged him in the shoulder. “Only for you.”

Oikawa hated how that made his stomach flutter.

They fell silent after that, getting absorbed into the movie as a particularly intense, yet embarrassing fight scene began. Both of them laughed at the terrible special effects, the even worse acting and the tremendously convoluted plot line. It was badder than bad - and it was the best distraction. No anxiety riddled thoughts, no heart palpitations. Things were fine now.

Until Iwaizumi’s fingers started ghosting along the bone structure of his wrist.

It wouldn’t have meant anything if it wasn’t intentional. But the thing was, it _was_ intentional. The way Iwaizumi traced his fingers, his knuckles. He just knew.

Oikawa couldn’t help himself from tensing, pulling away. He was jumpy, he was scared, he didn’t want to read too much into this. He knew Iwaizumi was touchy. He did that with everyone. It’s just the way he was. This isn’t different, it’s not special.

_I’m not special._

Iwaizumi flinched, too, pulling back, scooting himself away enough that he was pressed against the bedroom wall. That’s when Oikawa became _terrified_ , when he realized just how strongly Iwaizumi responded to being denied. “I’m sorry.”

Oikawa mumbled an incoherent apology. He knew his face was heating up, his heartbeat a jackhammer in his chest. There it was. He ruined _everything_. Even before it began.

Iwaizumi was pale, very pale. Not getting an answer seemed to be making him squirm “Did I… was I reading you wrong?”

_What?_

Iwaizumi sighed after a beat, when Oikawa just stared at him in silence. He couldn’t formulate any words - he’d been thrown for a loop. A huge fucking loop. But it didn’t stop Iwaizumi, he just kept talking through his ass. “Fuck, I did. I’m sorry. Just forget about it. Sorry.”

What was he supposed to be forgetting about? What was he reading wrong? Oikawa’s brain was an unintelligible disaster - unorganized, incredulous and maybe just a little too hopeful. “Why did-? _What_?”

That’s when Iwaizumi’s face colored. “Nothing.”

Oikawa paused the movie and stared dead straight into his best friend’s eyes. He had no idea where this confidence was coming from. Was it even confidence? He was probably just running on pure adrenaline at this point. “Tell me. _Now_.”

Iwaizumi backed further into the wall, it seemed. That only spurred him on.

“ _Hajime_.” He said. “ _Tell me_.”

Iwaizumi took a deep breath. “I thought you… wanted to…”

“To _what?_ ”

Iwaizumi closed his eyes. He looked like he was in pain. “Not be… just friends.”

Adrenaline wasn’t fueling him. It was definitely hope. “I see.”

Oikawa was a mumbler when he was nervous, and Iwaizumi was, too. Except Iwaizumi talked a mile a minute and didn’t seem to know how to stop. “I know you’re flirty with everyone, because that’s just how you are. But lately it’s just been _more_ and… I don’t know. And last weekend, we both were just - _I_ was just - and we’re close already and now it’s like this. And other friends don’t act like _this_. Or cry about this and I… I don’t know. I feel like I’m getting mixed signals, or I _want_ to be getting these signals and I’m just so confused -”

“Hajime.” Oikawa shushed him as he propped himself up on his elbow and stared Iwaizumi down. He blinked slowly, shushed him again, and asked in a low, slow voice. “Why did you call me last weekend?”

Iwaizumi startled. It seemed he had gotten to the heart of the matter much sooner than the other had anticipated. Oikawa was a lot of things, and perceptive was one of them. Iwaizumi had apparently forgotten that judging by the disbelief canvasing his face. “I -“

“Yes?”

“I missed you.” He bit his lip, stalling his words. It was a tactic to keep quiet, to prevent oversharing. Oikawa was all too familiar with that move. He did it all the time, after all. But Iwaizumi wasn’t finished. He just needed a second to breathe. “I kept thinking about how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Oikawa didn’t even know what he was doing. His mind went blank and the next thing he realized he had his fingers in Iwaizumi’s hair and was pulling him into him, and then his mouth was on Hajime’s and Oikawa’s body felt like it had been ignited. 

Iwaizumi gasped, and fear cracked briefly down Oikawa’s spine, but those familiar, broad hands were suddenly cupping his cheeks and pulling closer. Mouth opening, legs tangling. Things were ok, more than ok, like a dream and Oikawa’s body melted into his bed.

Maybe things don’t have to be so complicated after all.

_Maybe things can go my way for once._

Iwaizumi’s mouth tasted like the noodles they ate for dinner, like generic chapstick, like the best mouth he’d ever kissed. A whole shiver racked Oikawa’s backbone, a combo of relief and pleasure warming his nerves. Everything was moving too slow, he needed more, so he tongue pressed into Iwaizumi’s mouth, and Iwaizumi pressed back, and the two of them moaned. 

Oikawa was thankful he was a private enough person that he had closed his bedroom door.

Their mouths refused to separate. However, the side angle they were kissing on apparently wasn’t cutting it. Iwaizumi broke away for a split second, not enough time for either of them to collect their bearings enough to speak before he climbed on top of Oikawa and reconnected their mouths. The sensation of this familiar body pressing down on Oikawa just felt right - it felt good. Just as good as the way Iwaizumi was pecking his mouth, softly working his lips open into a pliant, wet mess. It was the most tender kissing Oikawa had ever experienced. Nobody he’d ever been with was this patient, this loving. No one ever took the lead like this. Oikawa usually took the initiative and set the pace with his lovers. But Iwaizumi was spoiling him, making him stay still and relax. No work necessary. Oikawa’s stomach filled with new heat, swelled with desire he could finally act upon, overjoyed he could act upon. It guided his hands to skirt up Iwaizumi’s shirt, pet his muscled back, sides, this beautiful biceps of his as he groaned Hajime’s name into the other’s mouth.

That fueled something in Iwaizumi, because he broke away, just stared down into Oikawa’s blown eyes. His lips were pink, glistening, swollen… Oikawa swallowed, dragging his palms up so he could rub Iwaizumi’s toned stomach, his arms some more… And then Iwaizumi was face first diving into his neck, kissing his skin in messy lines, lingering in spots that Oikawa didn’t even know felt good. How did he know? What the hell?

Small groans ripped from his throat, quiet stifled sounds that he knew his roommates couldn’t hear. Iwaizumi’s teeth dragged along his jugular, then bit down near the juncture where his shoulder met his neck. Everything inside Oikawa tensed, his jaw, his fingers, everything below the waistband of his pants. 

_Oh god._

Selfishly, _daringly_ , he hooked his leg around Iwaizumi and pinned him closer to him, sinking them further into the mattress. He knew Iwaizumi could feel him like this. Oikawa could feel him, too. His breathing was shallow, his skin dotted with sweat, and with a leap of faith, he took his time and rolled his body into Iwaizumi’s.

Both of them shivered as it happened.

“ _Hajime_ ,” He panted, scratching down Iwaizumi’s sides because he couldn’t help himself. He didn’t know what he wanted to say. He just knew what he wanted to do.

But Iwaizumi apparently didn’t know what to say, either. He just grunted, kissed his ear with a mumbled _Tooru_ as he grounded into him back.

Neither of them said any more than each other’s names. They didn’t want to try anything elese- if they attempted to explain themselves, the situation, try to confess, it’d be ruined. This moment was _raw_. It was a culmination, and explosion, a short fuse that finally gave out. This was years worth of tension, of need, all in one gropey, awkward kiss. Oikawa’s soul was pouring out through his fingers, his mouth, his hips. His hormones propelling things faster, much faster. It was revving him up to peel Iwaizumi’s shirt off his hot skin, accelerating the way he rocked into his thigh, refusing to pump the brakes when Iwaizumi licked the shell of his ear and slipped his hand down Oikawa’s stomach to tap against the drawstring knot of his pants, pleading to be let in. Oikawa didn’t want to slow down. He wanted to keep moving. He shoved Iwaizumi’s hand in, nodded as he whimpered a _please_ into his ear when fingers touched, stroked and grasped every part of Oikawa that made him shudder. 

They were moving too fast, way too fast. But neither of them cared to stop. It was a mess, a beautiful mess. One they might regret in the morning, or even in ten minutes. But that couldn’t stop them now. They were colliding, crashing. If this was a dream Oikawa never wanted to wake up.

His breathing was harshening, quickening. His pulse skyrocketing inside, moving his blood twice, triple the speed throughout him. Racing towards exactly what Oikawa wanted. Funnily enough, it made his words sluggish, his throat congested with emotion. He mouthed sweet words into Hajime’s throat, pulling on the messy, sweaty hair at the nape of his neck, begging him with thick words to keep doing _that_ , never to stop. Saying things his foggy brain would later regret. Using sweet words, _meaningful_ words, a broken phrase that revealed maybe a bit too much of his heart. Oikawa didn’t care. He didn’t care.

It was Hajime. That’s all that mattered.

His own fingers grew impatient, tired of just hair, and Oikawa asked, with trailing fingertips down his neck if he could do it to him, too. Hajime swallowed, and he pulled away from marking up his neck and nodded. He didn’t say a word, he just shifted his body so Oikawa could get his hand where it needed to go. Down, all the way down, until Iwaizumi’s body buckled and he let out of a soft sigh. 

Neither of them could talk, could focus - so they busied themselves with a not-kiss. Just mouthing, sucking, breathing into each other. It was so messy, so carnal, like the vivid dreams Oikawa had been having, everything that had been surreal to him actually physically happening now. Even better than the wild things his mind had conjured in his sleep. 

His body was on fire, it was so close, he felt incredible and it was all because of Hajime. Hajime was doing this, Hajime was being this, he was letting him get near and be happy and make him feel whole.

Oikawa had color flash before his eyes and then he was putty, melting into the bed, his fingers halting, twitching as he turned to jelly. Hajime didn’t even care, he just kissed him, a real, proper kiss, and the two of them sweetly lay there, silently, lips staying locked. 

It was a few moments before Oikawa could move his hand, and he suddenly had double the strength, the speed and dexterity. and he was pushing Iwaizumi over. Oikawa climb onto him, and with a base smile treated the other to everything he had just experienced. Hajime’s eyes, unlike his own, stayed open, never straying away from Oikawa’s as he made the other feel fireworks, made him curl up and shiver in a helpless way Oikawa had never seen, watched his face scrunch and cheeks color and his name leave his lips in a breathless gasp. As it happened, water welled up into Oikawa’s eyes and threatened to spill out.

Oh, God. He wasn’t allowed to cry. He’d done it in front of Dana, in front of Iwa-chan… but never like this. He couldn’t cry after a sexual encounter. His pride wouldn’t let it. He just couldn’t It was one of those things he just refused to do.

But the way Hajime stroked his cheek, and nuzzled into his neck and started to kiss his skin, well… it was hard not to get weepy. He felt so good, so at peace.

He felt so _happy_.

It was a matter of seconds before Iwaizumi noticed him crying. Oikawa wasn’t exactly secretive about it - all that sniffling was pretty obvious. Iwaizumi quickly pulled away, his blissed out face fracturing into guilt, into fear. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

Oikawa shook his head vehemently, hiccuping. Dammit, he was starting to get on the brink of hysterical. That wasn’t sexy, or romantic. He looked like a slob. Undesirable and weak. He wiped at his eyes and tried to focus on slow breaths, but it was impossible to. He didn’t even know why he was crying in the first place. “I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“Asshole, you’re crying.” Iwaizumi bit his lip. He clearly regretted those words, and he instantly reached out and squeezed Oikawa’s wrist in an attempt to be soothing instead. “Seriously, are you okay?”

How could he just admit that he was happy? Fulfilled? His dream had just come true. At least, one of them did. He had no idea what the emotional aftermath of this was, but damn, he had just did _that_ with Iwaizumi. _That_. He was jumping for joy to even get that privilege. 

“I’m,” he tried, but emotions surged up through him and new tears streaked down his cheeks, “I’m h-happy, it’s fine.” But Iwaizumi didn’t look placated at all - he actually looked incredibly worried, a little patronizing, too. “Don’t look at me!”

“Wait…” A painful moment passed and Iwaizumi’s face completely did a one-eighty. “You’re just _happy?_ ” A mischievous smile curved his mouth.

“Shut up!”

Iwaizumi covered his mouth with his unsullied hand, and he reached over to grab a tissue, wiping his fingers as he laughed. “You’re crying because you’re happy.”

Oikawa glared at him through his tears, a little laughter threatening to mix into his emotional meltdown. “You’re so rude!”

“And you’re a sentimental baby.” Iwaizumi tossed the balled-up tissue into the wastebasket below and then inched closer to Oikawa. He wrapped his arms around his neck and smiled against Oikawa’s lips, a gesture that had the brunette turning several dark shades of pink as he giggle-cried against the other. “A sentimental baby that I really, really like.”

And then they were kissing again, and Oikawa’s heart almost leapt from his chest. Iwaizumi never acted like this in front of anybody else. And he was doing it just for him - being tender, sweet, not rough around the edges. Everything that Oikawa wanted. He kissed him back, and didn’t mind that he got both of their faces wet from his tears. In fact, he relished in it a little too much.

They kissed softly for a while, and eventually, Oikawa had to break it. He wished they could stay like that forever, but he felt like they were avoiding the reality of what had happened. Putting on his brave face, he asked as candidly and seriously as he could, “So what does this mean?”

That seemed to halt Iwaizumi right in his tracks. “What?”

“That we just… _y’know_.”

“Did _that_ , you mean?”

Oikawa shrugged. “Yeah.”

Iwaizumi’s tongue pressed into his cheek - a habit he had when he was thinking. “Well… for me that might mean something different than it does for you, I guess.”

_Uh oh._ “What does it mean for you?”

Oikawa could tell that it was hard for Iwaizumi to be maintaining eye contact at the moment. But he powered through it. “For me… it means… well, it means that - are you going to make me say it? Ugh, fuck… It means that I like you. A lot.”

_Oh, thank god._ “Oh, really?”

Iwaizumi grimaced. “Yeah, jerk. It does. Like a whole lot. Enough that… well, you understand.”

“Oh, Iwa-chan, I really don’t though.” Oikawa grinned, and tapped his fingers on Iwaizumi’s palm. “Explain, please.”

He grumbled something under his breath, but eventually, Iwaizumi steadied himself and said with a semi-humiliated look, “I want to date you. In the most extreme sense of the word.”

Oikawa snorted. “The most _extreme_ sense?”

“Shut up! I’m trying to ask you out and you’re being such an asshole!”

“Do you say that to every guy you jerk off or is it just me?”

Hurt flashed in the other’s eyes, and immediately Oikawa regretted that jab. “ _No._ It’s only ever been you. I promise.”

Oikawa didn’t know what to say.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath and continued when the other stayed deathly silent. “I hate saying this but… I might have been thinking about you this way for… for a while. It sucks, but I have.”

Tonight was just getting more and more… relieving? Wild? Like a dream come true? “Me too.”

Relief washed over Iwaizumi. “ _Oh, thank god._ ”

“Shit. We’re really dense, aren’t we?”

“The densest.” Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa into a hug, and held him close, savoring the moment. Oikawa could feel his heart slowly, but firmly, thumping away in his chest. A pleased little rhythm that had Oikawa grinning from ear to ear. “I’m happy I came to Tokyo this weekend.”

“I’m happy that you got drunk and decided to come, too.”

Iwaizumi shoved him down onto the bed, and both of them exploded into laughter. They wrestled around through the giggles, but eventually Iwaizumi won. Hovering over Oikawa in victory, Iwaizumi grinned down at him. His chocolate eyes were bright - he looked so at ease. “So… what’re we doing tomorrow?”

Oikawa clicked his tongue. “We could sightsee some more. Go eat, see a movie. Anything you want to do. This is your weekend, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi shrugged noncommittally. “I’d be perfectly happy if we stayed in tomorrow.”

“And _sightsee_ in my bedroom?”

Iwaizumi wrinkled his brow. “Don’t be fucking lewd about it.”

“But that’s exactly what you mean!” Oikawa protested with a pout, and added quietly. “Besides, I’d like that, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We can order takeout and just stay in.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

Oikawa leaned up and kissed Iwaizumi on the nose. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bishounen-curious.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> bishounen-curious.tumblr.com


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